Self Reparenting | Self Parenting | Reparent Yourself
Therapist Ridgewood NJ | Therapist Ridgewood New Jersey
Psychologist Ridgewood New Jersey | Psychotherapy Ridgewood NJ
Psychotherapist Ridgewood NJ | Depression Ridgewood NJ
Panic Ridgewood NJ | Trauma Ridgewood NJ | Anxiety Ridgewood

Dr. Jay Kantor, 10 Wilsey Square, Ridgewood, NJ 07450, 201-461-7347

Self ReParenting . Com

Self Reparenting:
Experience A Breakthrough In Healing Long-Term
Emotional, Psychological, Relationship, And Health Problems

  By Therapist-Healer Dr. Jay Kantor

Long-term emotional, mental, relationship, and even health problems can originate in the psychological structure and functioning of the mind.  The mind’s structure and functioning are created, starting in childhood, through the parent-child relationship.  We internalize various versions of our own developing personality and the personalities of parents and other authority figures as “parts” in our subconscious mind.  This process goes on automatically, outside of our conscious awareness.

Healthy, mature, and loving parts – both child and older, adult parts – are necessary for a person to have a happy, success life.  Parental maltreatment, neglect, and inadequate parenting create subconscious parts of the mind that are traumatized, dysfunctional, and immature.

When a part. created due to trauma, is activated by something in a person’s life now, the person experiences and reacts to the world from the mind of the child who went through that trauma.  Since the person is not conscious of where these feelings, thoughts, and behaviors come from, they erroneously attribute their cause to what is present in the environment now.

 The Real Clients In Psychotherapy

The hurt, wounded, scared, and often angry subconscious parts of a person are the real clients in psychotherapy.  These are the parts of a person’s mind we must relate to, heal, and transform to create lasting change in a person’s life.  Rational conversation about the origin of a psychological problem does relatively little to transform the subconscious mind, which is why talk therapy may leave powerful, disturbing psychological responses, still in place.  In a similar fashion, prescription medicines do little, if anything, to specifically address the thoughts and feelings being held by a traumatized part of the mind.  Drugs numb all of our feelings, good and bad alike.

How Self Reparenting Works

In Self Reparenting, we work directly with the parts of the mind that need to be healed, nurtured, and transformed.  The most basic work involves three types of normally subconscious parts: child parts, adult-child parts, and a higher self or witness part.

The psychological reality of the parts is acknowledged by making them real, visible, and “tangible” in a process called Inner Psychodrama.  Each part of the mind we choose to work with is literally given its own physical seat in the room.  This helps a person re-cognize what is going on in their mind as it switches from enacting one part (or role) to enacting another part, in the course of time.  Parts of the mind are in relationship to each other.  A child part in one chair has a very definite relationship with an adult part in another chair, as they both do as residents in the same subconscious mind.

We acknowledge, respect, value, listen to, and heal each part of the person.  Treating each part as a valuable person in its own right is crucial for self reparenting to be successful.

A person coming for therapy is often lost in a distressed child part when they arrive, although they may not recognize that fact.  When I ask the person what is going on in their life that brings them into therapy, they often express how bad they feel – how hurt, depressed, anxious, or angry they are.  And how their relationship with someone is making them feel that way.  This process is allowed to go on for a few minutes. This is a distressed child part sitting in the chair.

I then ask the person to take a few breaths and relax for a moment.  Then I ask them to change chairs to the chair that is facing where they are sitting.  I remind them – play back, if you will – what they said while they were in the other chair, as the child.  I then ask them to respond to what they just heard themselves say, as they sat in the original chair.

Do you think most people are supportive or are they critical?  Are they cold and rational or are they loving and nurturing?

Unfortunately, most people are critical of the person – of the distressed child part – sitting in the other chair.  They do not want to hear about and deal with his or her problems.  This almost always the case when a person has psychological issues that they cannot resolve on their own.

The reason that a person cannot regulate their own emotions is that they were never taught how by a mature, supportive, loving adult.  Emotional self regulation is an important outcome of healthy parenting.  Since we internalize our parents and the way we were parented, as parts of our own mind, we treat ourselves – the child parts of ourselves – the way we were treated as children.  If parents failed to do what was necessary to help us meet the psychological and emotional challenges we faced, we never learned how to do this for ourselves.  In Self Reparenting, a person develops a mature, loving parent part that is capable of helping traumatized child parts to heal and to grow up, so they no longer have to suffer from having their unresolved trauma reactivated.

I hope you found this brief introduction to Self Reparenting interesting and valuable.  You will find more information on this and related topics at http://NurturingTheMind.Com , and http://DrJayKantor.Com.  To find out about Rapid Emotional Healing go to: http://EFTNJ.Com - Emotional Freedom Techniques.

I have a private practice located at 10 Wilsey Square, Suite #280, Ridgewood, NJ.  You are invited to call me at (201) 461-7347 with your questions and comments.  A FREE 15 MINUTE PHONE CONSULTATION IS AVAILABLE TO DISCUSS USING SELF REPARENTING TO ADDRESS YOUR NEEDS.

Dr. Jay Kantor has spent the past 22 years 1) helping people to overcome the long-term effects of childhood trauma and 2) developing new natural and holistic means for eliminating trauma and empowering people to reach their spiritual potential.  He holds a Doctorate in Psychology from Columbia University and is certified in many forms of holistic healing.  He is an expert in EFT, practices Rohun Spiritual Psychotherapy, and is certified as a Medium by Delphi University in Georgia.

                                  Copyright Jay Kantor, 2012.  All rights reserved